Amsterdamnit

So I've been in the Amsterdam airport for far too long, and I noticed a few things.

There are no baseball fields in Europe.

I could have told you this before I looked out an airplane window at 30,000 feet, but the thing I always notice when flying over the United States is how many freaking baseball fields we have.

Last time I few to Europe I was listening to a Discman.

I believe at the time I was raving about how it was way better than a Walkman.  Now I can listen to whatever the fuck I want on my Ipod, and if technology continues to advance at this rate, then next time I fly to Europe, I will most likely be listening to a live robot band that fits in my pocket and can be taken out to entertain my entire row at any given time during the flight.

There are a lot of Connecticut fans in Holland.

Both of the guys on the tar-mac who taxied my plane up to its gate were wearing Uconn hats.

Men's rooms in Amsterdam are called "Men Toilets."

As in "This Men Toilet is out of order.  Please proceed to the next Men Toilet."

Dutch children are adorable.

Ok before I get to this point, an entire team of attractive Dutch flight attendants just sat right next to me and I can't stop staring at them.  What was I saying?  Oh yeah...

Dutch children are adorable.

I think that their appeal is mostly due to the fact that when they talk I can't tell if it's baby talk, or if it's Dutch, or some sort of combination of the two.  When I hear people speak Dutch it makes me laugh...I can't help it.  Earlier there was a little Dutch girl running around and clapping with everyone waiting at my gate. Two old Scottish ladies took to her and while they were playing patty cake, the well-dressed, elderly gentleman they were with struck up a conversation with the little girl's father.  They were speaking English to each other, the Scottsman and the Dutchman, and I couldn't understand a word of it.  I knew it was English but I couldn't tell you what the conversation was about, although they seemed to be on exactly the same page.

At some point a small Indian boy entered the picture, holding hands with his mother who was wearing a multicolored sari and sporting a red jewel between her eyes.  He gave the little Dutch girl a death stare as if to say,

"Yeah you're cute.  I'm cute too.  All little kids are cute.  Get over yourself."  Her bright smile dissolved for the first time.  She looked up at her dad and pointed over her shoulder with her thumb at the Indian boy as if to say,

"Who the fuck does that Indian kid think he is?  This is my gate, this is my crowd, and I have those Scottish ladies in the palm of my hand, so he can sit here over my dead body."

Then a few things happened very quickly.  The Indian boy seemed to wink at the Dutch girl, but I don't think he did it on purpose, and then the Dutch girl started laughing, and then it was more like cackling, until it progressed to shrieking.  She took off with a wobbly sort of sprint toward the Indian boy who ducked for cover behind his mother.  Just before the cross-continental collision, the Dutch Daddy swooped in a grabbed his daughter preventing an international incident that I was sort of hoping for, but the Indian boy and his mother retreated.  By my tally it's the Netherlands-1, India-0...but something tells me this isn't over.  However, this blog post is over.  I'm going to go drink a beer.  Why you ask?  Because I can.