Dvanáct Piva Prosím

The title is Czech for "12 beers please"...I think.  Either that or gibberish, I should have a better grasp on the language after my trip to Prague next week.  It might be touch and go coming back, since I bought my ticket one way and the TrenItalia emplyee assured me that it would be impossible to return to Italy after December 13th.  She seemed personally offended that I wanted to know why there were no more trains returning from Prague, and refused to give me a reason, but no matter, I will most likely return through lovely Slovenia and have a dragon beer on the way home.

Here are some conservative estimates about what will happen during my four days in Prague with my childhood friend Samuel.

161-  The number of Czech beers that Sam and I will consume between us.

19-  The number of Czech beers that will be partially or entirely spilled.

84-  The number of times Sam or I will utter the words "We are...two wild and crazy guys!" or otherwise imitate Steve Martin and Dan Aykroyd's depiction of the swinging Czech Festrunk brothers from Saturday Night Live. 

7-  The number of times I will try to convince Sam that we are walking in the wrong direction. 

14- The number of times Sam will give me shit about having a terrible sense of direction.

96- The number of times it will be undoubtedly clear that Sam is a better dance than I am.

1- The number of meals that I will not remember eating.

9-  The number of times we will be confused by the multiple incompatible district systems used simultaneously to label different parts of the city.

16- The number of trinkets I will buy at Christmas markets.

15- The number of trinkets that will either break or will not fit in my backpack and therefore will not make it back to Trieste.

4- The number of times one of us will be pushed into the middle of some dance circle when the song "American Boy" comes on at a club.

4- The number of times I will have to apologize to a hostel employee for one thing or another.

71- The number of times Sam and I will butcher the pronunciation of simple Czech expressions such as, "Máte tohle i v mé velikosti?" (Do you have this in my size) or "Potrebuji zubní pastu." (I need tooth paste).