What a Country...

And so after a quick social binge in The United States of America, I find myself stuck somewhere else, this time, the middle-of-nowhere Germany, as I await a budget flight to Venice-well near Venice, tomorrow afternoon. Thank God I managed to stumble on the lovely Advance Hotel where I may be the only guest, and there may be only one employee who bends over backwards to make my stay as comfortable as possible. For 45 Euro tonight, I get two beds, unlimited coffee and tea, unlímited breakfast food all day, unlimited German television (The Nanny dubbed into German is exactly as entertaining as it sounds), unlimited cheap German beer from the bar downstairs, unlimited shuttles to four types of ethnic restaurants, unlimited banter with the only hotel employee who's name I haven't caught yet, but he imediately knew my last name was Scandinavian and therefore he is wise. Did I mention unlimited sauna use?



I decided to go for the German restaurant since I am in Germany, and I wanted one more plate of assorted meats and kraut before I head back to Italy. When I read the menu and began to laugh the waitress asked me what was wrong. I told her everything was fine and as long as she got me a copy of the menu in English, there would be a big tip in store for her. Here are some of my favorite excerpts from the opening page.

A Hearty Welcome to You Dear Guest

We are delighted to welcome you in the name of our staff in our gastronomical area after only one year of construction time. We will do everything in our more and more hectical and superficial time to give you some beautiful moments which you will hopefully remember positively for a long time.

We can offer many other performances to you:

-Catering on birthday parties

-Meeting facilities

-Wine tasting with vintners from different regions, including a complete meal

There are always different dishes prepared for you from our plentiful menu. Brunch at the "Bohrinsel"- pure pleasure.

At this very moment, we wish you a pleasant stay and delightful moments.

-Your Bohr family and service staff

If anyone else gets stranded at the pathetic Frankfurt Hahn Airport and wants to be treated like royalty for a night, check out:

http://www.advance-hotel-zum-hahn.de/en/index.php